Category: One Focus Blog

Things and People

I have heard of families squabbling over possessions when a family member died. Perhaps family members are upset when there is a large estate and their expectations of inheriting something are dashed. It always makes me sad to hear of those cases and wonder what the deceased loved one would think if he heard the dispute.

Thankfully, that has not been the case when my parents or my husband’s parents passed away. The estates were small and there were not many things of monetary value but we each wanted some mementos of their lives.

When my husband’s grandmother died, I got a set of her dishes – incomplete, but I was thrilled to have them – and her button collection. When my own grandmother died, my father gave me a platter and serving bowl that matched the set I had received from my husband’s grandmother.

Photo on 2013-01-23 at 13.42 #2When my dad died, my sister (actually my stepsister but we claimed each other as sisters) and I had no issues at all. She wanted photo albums and a few items of her mother’s. I wanted some things that actually belonged to her side of the family if she didn’t want them. She graciously let me have the hand crocheted bedspreads her grandmother made and the few pieces of silverware that did not go with her set. I have my father’s typewriter and some other memorabilia. These remind me of times I saw each of them use those items.

When my father-in-law died, his four sons were very thoughtful. They were hesitant to speak up about something they might treasure for fear that someone else might want it. In the end, though, I think everyone came away with reminders of Mom and Pop they most wanted.

The important thing was that some of these belongings stayed in the family. At the estate sale, I especially hated the thought of my husband’s grandmother’s cedar wardrobe being sold, especially after learning it had been given to her on her wedding day in 1920. Having no place for it in my home, I still wanted to take it if no one else would. I was thrilled when my brother-in-law said he wanted it. I think his grandmother would be pleased.

Each of the items that were brought home from our parents’ house was not worth much to anyone except us. It was the reminder of time spent with a loved one or their contribution to our lives that gave the item such value.

I often look about and think of how I enjoy the good gifts of life. This includes many things: sunrise and sunset, moon and the stars, a butterfly, hummingbirds, a piece of furniture that is well made because God gave someone that creative gift, a painting done by a friend, things my husband purchased for me that make my life easier, gifts from my children and grandchildren that make my smile when I use them and many more.

Every gift ultimately comes from God. The things He gives contribute to our enjoyment of life, but they are mere representatives of His presence. I am well aware that I am not taking anything with me when I meet Him at the end of my life. The pleasure they bring me today is a reminder of Him – the Creator and Gift Giver of all.

O Lord, how many are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all; the earth is full of Your possessions (Psalm 104:24 NAS). Command those who are rich in this world’s goods not to be haughty or to set their hope on riches, but on God who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17 NET).

If You Write It, They Will Know

Since the passing of my father, my husband’s grandmother and his parents, I have discovered a lot of things about them through their writing: their notes, their cards written to each other, notations made on pictures and newspaper clippings as well as longer writings, such as wills and books.

My father wrote a book in his late 80’s on eschatology and was working on another book. He kept many notebooks of his Bible lessons and had scores of notes in the Bibles he left behind. Tears came to my eyes as I read his note on the bottom of one of my letters: “my blessing from the Lord.” At my request, he prepared a notebook of his World War II experiences. Dad and I had a great relationship. It is richer still because of his writings.

Sunshine Blake, May 1951My husband’s grandmother wrote a manuscript which I had yet to read, but am looking forward to it. It was found among pictures and cards in her footlocker after her son passed away. She was the most dedicated Christian witness I have ever known. Her last will and testament revealed that focus in her life. She had few material possessions. She specified that everything she had was to be divided equally between her sons after five hundred dollars (a significant sum for her) was given to the World Literature Crusade “for giving the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to one million people each day.” Then, after her signature on her handwritten will, she stated, “May they and all my relatives meet me in Heaven.”

These discoveries sealed my conviction that what you write down will reveal a lot to your loved ones. I attended a writer’s conference a few years back and still have stamped in my memory a comment by one of the leaders. Asked by a participant if he kept a diary, he said, “I have not always kept a diary, but I do now. After my wife died, I discovered a diary I didn’t know she had. I discovered things about her I didn’t know before and would not give anything for that diary.”

God operates by that principle. What He said in His word many years ago reveals who He is. It is truly a treasure of knowledge about the One who loves us so much that He gave His Son for our salvation. I am thrilled to have His words in print as well as the writings of the loved ones He put in my life.


But these are written so that you may believe Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and by believing you may have life in His name (John 20:31). But the word of the Lord lasts forever. Now this word is the good news that was announced by you (1 Peter 1:25 HCSB).

Resolutions You Have Kept

The beginning of a new year usually sparks an evaluation of where you are and where you want to be in the future.

NewYearsResolution1915FirstPostcardAt the beginning of one year, I watched interviews of people queried about resolutions they were making. Most of them admitted their resolutions wouldn’t last long and many appeared to think the whole idea was funny. Their good intentions for improvement would not last through the first week.

Their predictions are generally true. January is a great month for gyms, diets and purchasing exercise equipment. The gyms start to empty out in February, diets go by the wayside in a few weeks and barely used exercise equipment can be snapped up at bargain prices by the second quarter of the year.

Resolutions can be life changing or they can be discouraging. Less than 10% of us who make New Year’s resolutions keep them. Experts are now recommending that you keep your resolution list short, simple and specific.

How you approach resolutions makes all the difference. Your evaluation process should not only include where you are (your present) and where you want to be (your future), but what has brought you to where you are (your past).  Many of us have been following through on resolutions for years without realizing it. The dictionary tells us so.

A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. All of us have made decisions in the past – some good, some bad.

A decision is a conclusion or resolution reached after careful consideration. Decisions you have already made were choices – an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

You live by the choices you make. Some choices have great reward – like an intimate relationship with God through Jesus Christ, a good marriage, parenting children, working at a job you love, living in a town or city that fits your personality, developing a desired skill, etc. The opposite is also true. When we make bad decisions, we have to live with the consequences.

You and I are where we are today by the resolutions – choices – decisions – we made yesterday. When we evaluate how we have made our choices and realize that it has put us where we are today, we can either stick with the process or revise it in order to get where we need to be in the future.

Making any decision on our own – without God’s help – can lead to bad choices. Asking God to help you make right decisions in the future is a resolution you can keep if you have a relationship with Him.

There is no decision too small or too big to take to God. If it concerns you, it concerns Him. We all need His help. I know I do.

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way (Proverbs 3:5-6 Easy-to-Read version).

The Best Free Gift Ever

There is sometimes a little letdown when Christmas is over. Family members go home and the house feels somewhat empty. The decorations need to be put away (not nearly as fun as putting them up). There is a possibility that some of the gifts need to be returned – either because they don’t work, you can’t use them, you already have one just like it or it doesn’t fit.
The opposite might also be true. If you have received a gift card or money for a Christmas present, now is the time to be able to choose something you really want or need for free. Redeeming the gift card or spending the money after Christmas often stretches your money because there are many after Christmas sales which are deeply discounted.

Everyone likes something free. The gifts you received didn’t cost you anything. You may have gotten something you have been wishing for and because it is something you would not have purchased for yourself, it is a true luxury. Some of my favorite belongings remind me of Christmases past and the thoughtfulness of a loved one.

Regardless of what you received this Christmas or past Christmases there will be a point where you will no longer use it. It will either wear out or you will leave it behind when you die.

The best free gift ever offered and received will never wear out or be left behind when you die. It was the most costly gift ever because it required the Son of God to die on the cross for your sin. Our free gift cost Him everything. His sacrifice enables you to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.

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Just like the gifts you got for Christmas, the only thing you have to do is receive this gift. As He offers it to you and you receive it by faith, you are able to have fellowship now with Him on earth and forever with Him in Heaven. If you have not received this most precious gift, why don’t you do so today?

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).*

*This post is duplicated on my other blog, http://stretchmoney.wordpress.com as well. As I try hard to give advice on how to obtain what you need for free, this post was also appropriate for that blog. Jesus Christ offers the best free gift ever!

Butterflies and Roses in December

James M. Barrie began his rectorial address at St. Andrews University on May 3, 1922 with the following statement: “You have had many rectors here in St. Andrews who will continue in bloom long after the lowly ones such as I am are dead and rotten and forgotten. They are the roses in December; you remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December. But I do not envy the great ones. In my experience – and you may find in the end it is yours also – the people I have cared for most and who have seemed most worth caring for – my December roses have been very simple folk.” Barrie considered himself simple folk, but left his mark on the world with his stories, most notably Peter Pan.

Barrie’s reference to roses in December carries the implication that roses would not be available to view in December – thus the need for the memory of them. I will remember this year as the December where I did not have to use my memory to enjoy roses – they have been blooming in some areas of the south during December. Not only have I seen roses this month, but I have enjoyed watching the monarch butterflies in my backyard in recent days. Even in Texas where you can alternately use the air conditioner and heater in off seasons, roses have usually lost their bloom and butterflies are long gone by December.

Barrie related his December roses to people – those people who are worth caring for. In my life, I also have fond memories of these December roses. I have friends and family that I seldom see, but hear from periodically through cards, Facebook, phone calls or email. Every time I do, it brings a smile, similar to the smile that comes across my face when I see roses and butterflies in December. Their contributions to my life continues to bloom.roses-du-palmengarten

Family, friends, roses and butterflies are among many things I am grateful for. The greatest blessing I have ever received is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ His Son. Fellowship with Him makes me aware of the delightful gifts that He gives as well. So, whether I actually see them or I need to exercise my memory to enjoy them, through His grace I can experience roses in December.

I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys (Song of Solomon 2:1).

The True Spirit of Christmas

Many people the world over look forward to Christmas. Time off from work, time spent with family, looking forward to special gifts and an occasion for parties may be the sole reason for the celebration.

Retail stores put out Christmas decorations earlier each year. They suppose – and they may be right – that makes it easier for customers to get in the Christmas spirit and desire to purchase their products.

Of course, merchandisers profit from the Christmas season. Many of us believe that it has, in fact, become way too commercial. On the other hand, generosity is expressed more freely by more people at this time of year than any other.

The signs of Christmas spirit may include:

  • making Christmas lists and checking off each present as it is purchased, wrapped, mailed or placed under the tree
  • preparing eggnog, special candies, cookies and a variety of other traditional family dishes
  • making elaborate preparations for parties, trips to see family, gifts for teachers, neighbors and others
  • decorating homes in and out
  • attending Christmas musicals and plays
  • looking for ways to help others through churches and charities

Part of the traditional Christmas celebration includes classic Christmas stories, which are read and reread to children at this time of year.

Charles_Dickens-A_Christmas_Carol-Title_page-First_edition_1843In Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge, a grumpy old miser who preferred his own company, is visited by three Christmas spirits on Christmas Eve. What the spirits of Christmas past, present and future showed him so affected Scrooge that his life was radically changed. The result of their visits was that he became the exact opposite of what he had been before. “He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old City knew, or any other good old city or town in the good old world…. it was said of him ever afterwards that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed that knowledge.”

A Christmas Carol is one of the movies that is on my Christmas season watch list, always saved for Christmas Eve. Of course, it is not the original Christmas story, but it does illustrate what happens when the true Spirit of Christmas visits someone. There is a radical change. To truly know how to keep Christmas well, one must be born of the Spirit of the Christ of Christmas.

Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God”(John 3:5). Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

The Painful Path to Empathy

A Christmas Carol was the first of five Christmas books written by Charles Dickens. The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, a lesser-known work, was the last of that series.

300px-Hauntedman_front_1848The Haunted Man, Professor Redlaw, is haunted by his sorrowful past. The only redeeming feature of his youth was a sister who died. The memories are continually brought before him by a Phantom who offers him relief. When he allowed the Spectre to cancel his remembrances, Redlaw made a surprising discovery. Not only did his memory of sorrow and wrong leave him, so did any element of softness and caring for others. Even worse, that gift was passed on to others around him with similar consequences.

Unaffected by this desire to forget sorrow is Milly Swidger who had lost her only child. A sweet simple woman, Milly tells her husband, “I am happy in the recollection of it…All through life, it seems by me, to tell me something. For poor neglected children, my little child pleads as if it were alive, and had a voice I knew, with which to speak to me. When I hear of youth in suffering or shame, I think that my child might have come to that, perhaps, and that God took it from me in His mercy…that even when my little child was born and dead but a few days, and I was weak and sorrowful, and could not help grieving a little, the thought arose, that if I tried to lead a good life, I should meet in Heaven a bright creature, who would call me, Mother!”

Observing her unusual application of loss, Redlaw comes to himself, praying, “O Thou who through the teaching of pure love, hast graciously restored me to the memory which was the memory of Christ upon the Cross, and of all the good who perished in His cause, receive my thanks, and bless her!”

At the end of the story, Dickens suggests, “that the Ghost was but the representation of his gloomy thoughts, and Milly the embodiment of his better wisdom.”

I have seen Dickens’ moral carried out in everyday life. Many kindhearted people attempt to sympathize with those in sorrow and pain, but it is those with similar experiences who make the largest contributions to healing. A mother who has had a stillborn child can comfort another mother like no one else can. Military families who have sent their loved ones to war can understand each other’s needs – often knowing what to do without being asked. A parent who has a wayward child can sit with another parent with a unique bonding and empathy. Those who have lost their jobs in an economic downturn are able to help each other in a special way. Homeless people can band together to become a community. And on it goes. People who have “been there, done that” are those who understand the most.

Christians have a Lord who empathizes with our sorrows and pains. His suffering was a choice – so we knew that He could understand, empathize and give guidance and comfort when comfort is needed.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV).

OJT Parenting

Skills for two of the most important roles in life are developed after we have already entered the relationship. On-the-job training is the norm for both marriage and parenting.

Some of us had good examples of parenting modeled before us. Others had terrible models. I had a mixture. When I became a parent, I found the overwhelming responsibility overridden by pure joy.

How many of us felt we could not measure up to the standards set by our parents – we were never good enough at music, art or sports? Do negative comments keep popping up in your mind? That is preventable in your relationship with your own children. Don’t say anything untrue, but every positive action can prompt a compliment from you. “I really enjoyed hearing you practice the piano,” is better than “You played that piece perfectly.”

US_Navy_090722-N-8467N-006_Culinary_Specialist_1st_Class_Joseph_Appold_hugs_his_1-year-old_son_Kameron_upon_the_return_of_the_Virginia-class_attack_submarine_USS_New_Hampshire_(SSN_778)_to_Submarine_Base_New_LondonRaising children is a bit like growing an orchid. One expert said growing an orchid requires experience, education and to be preventive in respect to problems. In raising children, add a great deal of nurturing, time and love.

As a Christian, I tried to find guidelines given in scripture. These are some of the ideas that came out of that study.

Life is tough. Children need someone to lean on, to count on. Children need to learn how to handle difficulties while at home. It prepares them to handle the challenges of the outside world.

Although you should be the primary teacher in your child’s life, many others are also training him: teachers, neighbors, people at church. Some reinforce your training. Some do not. It is easy for a child to be confused. Lead by example and your child will see the difference. If you tell your child not to lie, but you lie, he will not trust you nor will you be able to adequately comfort him when he encounters trials in his life. It is important that you let your child know you also need God and His comfort – you are a sinner and you also need His guidance.

Accept your child for who he is. His personality may be the opposite of yours. God gave your child his personality, his temperament. Your job is to help him build his character. He needs to know you respect him.

A child who knows he is loved and accepted will be able to take the discipline necessary to mold his character. Reinforcing positive behavior often prevents the need for discipline. If he makes his bed (even if it is not as you would have done), take note of it. Don’t remake the bed. If he is careful to watch after a sibling, say something about it. Praise goes a long way with a child.

The Bible is life’s operating manual and a parenting guidebook. Humans are tri-dimensional: physical, mental, spiritual. Some parents make sure their children are nourished physically, send them to school to get education, but leave the spiritual until they can make the decision for themselves. God makes it clear He expects parents to be in charge of their spiritual development. There is no greater calling.

Each generation can make known Your faithfulness to the next (Isaiah 38:19). Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward (Psalm 127:3).

Logistics and Progress in Poland

Logistics in Poland is very well thought out. On a road trip from Lwówek Śląski (a small town close to Germany on Poland’s western border) to Warsaw, Poland, I passed through the center of Poland and saw a landscape filled with warehouses – distribution centers for many retail stores. 

Central Poland is home to millions of meters of warehouse space. Major cities in Poland plan to add more warehouses as their economy continues to improve.

Un-polandAccording to an August 2012 issue of The Warsaw Voice, by 2020 Poland will become the main logistics center in Europe. Colliers International, a real estate services company who conducted the research, expects distribution centers to grow the fastest in Gdańsk/Gdynia, Łódź, Katowice and Wrocław.

Twice as much warehouse space was constructed in the first half of 2012 as the year before with the largest amount of new space built in the vicinity of Warsaw. The midwestern city of Poznań, central Poland and Upper Silesia also gained a significant amount of warehouse space.

I have been to most of the cities mentioned in the article I read. I love Poland and the Polish people. Some of my best friends live there.

It wasn’t too long ago shelves were empty and goods were difficult to obtain in this country. I am thrilled to see progress come to Poland. To me, these warehouses do not mar the beautiful countryside as they are strategically placed simply to make it easier to deliver goods throughout the country.

As a Christian, I know where everything I need is located. Every material, physical or spiritual need that I have comes from one source.



Every good and perfect gift is from above…(James 1:17). Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’… for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:31-33).

The Joy of Food, Fellowship and Family

There’s something about sitting together around a table full of food that invites conversation – especially with family. When our sons got married, I made a family recipe book for my new daughters. It occurred to me that many of our best memories were around meals celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays or traditions we had created for meals on Friday nights, Saturday mornings or Sunday after church. Those memories were of great joy when we were all gathered around the table.

Now the joy is magnified because the family has grown. On rare occasions when we have mealtimes together again, it is with grandchildren and all the delightful contributions they make to the conversations.

This last week was another reminder of this truth. I attended two fellowship meals with our church family here in France. There was a covered dish luncheon on Sunday after church. So much good food and time to visit with friends around the table is a great treat. On normal Sundays, people have to be out and about and visiting time is limited. On covered dish Sundays, people make an effort to stick around, visit and enjoy a meal together.On Tuesdy, our ladies Bible study group got together at a member’s lovely home for lunch. Again, there was time to discover more information about my sisters in Christ. People I had grown to love I love even more because I know them better now – they shared their testimonies and experiences with the Lord. It was truly a joyful time.

Jesus had similar experiences. He never was in a hurry, but it was at mealtimes we see him having the luxury of sharing life with those He loved. He spent time in fellowship and meals with His friends Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Those were times of rest and restoration for Him, just as times of food and fellowship with family are for us.

There was one very special meal where Jesus was able to have a time of very needed fellowship. It was just before His betrayal and crucifixion. In the upper room, after Judas left, Jesus had an opportunity to share some special revelations of Himself to elIMG_5919even of His closest friends. He had come so they might be adopted into His family. As He left His brothers with incredible words of encouragement and promise, He told them that His intended purpose for doing so was that they might share in His joy.

Food, fellowship and family are perfect settings for experiences of joy.

 

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full (John 15:11). But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves (John 17:13).